Today is my first day back to the real world after vacation and it’s not as bas as I expected. That being said, if anyone knows of a job where I can take vacation year-round, lemme know.

A few housekeeping notes: I scheduled a bunch of posts for when I was gone to A) transfer posts from The Eating Effort and B) provide some content with little to no work for me (not even sorry about it). Well I am apparently technology stupid because while I scheduled these posts, they were listed as drafts, so they never actually published. I still don’t really get it. But whatever. Sorry about that. It would have worked out really well.

ANYWHO that’s why I just published about 67 posts.

And now, for your list-making pleasure…

7 Random Things I Want To Talk About Since I Haven’t Blogged In A While

1. I have returned from vacation with roughly 11 million new bruises, all on my legs (and one cute one on my left butt cheek). I am not sure where they originated. My lower self bruises extremely easily, but usually I can’t feel them and it’s just like a weird little surprise when I find them hidden between my toes and behind my knee, etc. These ones I FEEL. It’s real bad because I have one almost black bruise on the inside of my left thigh and one on the inside of my right calf so when I cross my legs they scream AHHH NOOO PLEASE STOP THE PAINNN OWWWW. Double whammy.

2. Yesterday on the way home I ate a bagel sandwich. Let me just say this: any bagel sandwich (um, already winning) that utilizes both cream cheese AND sliced cheese is a winner in my book. TWO KINDS OF CHEESE. ON A BAGEL. It was so good. Thank you, Brueggers, for existing.

Damn you for not existing closer to me.

3. Speaking of cheese, I was kind of the queen of it on vacation. Nachos, pizza, nachos, pizza. Couldn’t get enough. I haven’t gone to the bathroom in days.

Too much?

But seriously I ate a lot of cheese. And just a lot of crap in general, actually.

4. I’m working out tonight.

I bet you have no idea what could have motivated me.

Just kidding. I bet you do.

And then I’m having a salad for dinner.

With a side of cheeeeeeese.

No. No cheese.

5. I saw Jake Owen AND Grace Potter AND Tim McGraw AND Kenny Chesney at Target Field on Sunday. (With Jeff and Al and Caity who I will talk about later cuz I’m mad at them.)

Tim McGraw wore all white and it was very tight and see through-y and Kenny Chesney sweated through his tank top. Between that and the side of tequila I had with lunch, I don’t remember much more.

6. This is my best friend Caity. We were concert goers together.

She is leaving for the Cayman Islands today and I’m a little mad about it. I’ve determined I should have been invited and here is why:

  • I met Jeff when I was 16 and he was 20 and we started dating (What’s the opposite of a cougar? I want to be called whatever that is.)
  • Caity was my BFF.
  • Al was Jeff’s BFF.
  • When I was 17 and Caity was 18 and we were seniors, Jeff took me to a New Year’s Eve party with a bunch of 21-year-olds who were obviously drinking because DUH. I made Caity come with me because I was keeping it dry (what up, goodietooshoes!?) and that would have been super boring by myself.
  • I introduced Caity to the always classy Al (BFF of Jeff, remember) who may or may not have been completely incapable of full sentences by this point in the night, but he won her over any way. By the time we graduated they were dating all official-like and the rest is history.

So YOU’RE WELCOME, Caity and Al.

And yes, a proper THANK YOU involves a ticket to the Cayman Islands.

Jeff wants to come, too.

I’ll wait by the phone.

But seriously, how cool is it that we were all besties when we were babies, and now we still want to hang out together a billion years later? I think it’s pretty cool. So cool in fact that I got a little misty-eyed during the concert. (There Goes My Life always makes me cry anyway, and then there’s the tequila we talked about earlier…so it happened.)

7. Our engagement photos are done, and I love them so much it’s sick.

Please go check out L.O. Imijri. And then hire her. I mean good God, the girl does. work.

In this post I have talked about bruises and bathroom problems and drinking too much. If you’re still reading, high five. I like you.


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