The best cheeseburger soup recipe

Kids, I’m here to tell you that dreams do come true.

[Source]

They really, really do.

I don’t know if you’ve heard (OBVS THAT’S SARCASTIC) but Cory and Topanga are BACK and playing parents in the new series, Girl Meets World. It’s official, because it was a trending topic on Twitter and has taken over my Facebook newsfeed.

I am. So. Excited.

So excited, in fact, that I got all nostalgic last night and ended up watching other old shows that I used to love and tweeting an incessant amount about the old days and how I want them back. It was similar to the time I had a cry fest about Harry Potter being over…while I was at work.

Which is a story for a different day. Or not at all.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any reservations about the show. I do. Of course I do. Disney used to be SO GOOD. They didn’t have to introduce sketchy story lines about promiscuous things. It was WHOLESOME. It was for the FAMILY.

[Although I think we all remember Cory and Topanga’s honeymoon, AKA the most awkward episode ever to watch with your mom, which was of course the one day my mom decided she wanted to watch TV with me.]

o_0 Awkward.

I’m nervous that Girl Meets World is going to lose all it’s integrity. I’m scared it will be the next Hannah Montana or iCarly (<- My sister will point out this is Nickelodeon; I KNOW, it’s an EXAMPLE). Those shows are extremely entertaining, but wholesome they are not.

So here’s hoping Girl Meets World is done up the right way and I have a new fave TV show.

And here’s hoping all my other fave shows get the whole reunion-movie-or-series-sequel memo (I’m looking at you, Gilmore Girls).

Would you like me to stop talking about 90s television so we can talk cheeeeeeeeseburger?

OK.

The best cheeseburger soup

Now. That’s a little misleading. But I have, in fact, eaten the best cheeseburger soup (served at a cafe near where I work; it’s life changing), and this is damn close. It’s cheesey and creamy and salty and delicious, and perfect for fall/winter (OMG IT’S DECEMBER). My mom found it in a recipe book she had from a while ago, I tweaked it ever so slightly, and I felt the need to share with you because YOU NEED THIS RECIPE.

This soup has had me on a soup kick for days (it makes a lot of leftovers for one person) which I’m attributing to why I’m retaining a solid 5 lbs. of bloat from the salty goodness.

I REGRET NOTHING.

Cheeseburger Soup
8 Servings
Approx. 250 calories/serving (without potatoes or sour cream)

Ingredients:

1/2 lb. ground beef
3/4 c.  chopped onion
3/4 c. chopped or shredded carrots (I used chopped because I only had whole carrots and I’m too poor to own fancy things like graters, but shredded would prob be bomb)
3/4 c. diced celery
1 tsp. dried parsley flakes
4 T. butter (eh, give or take)
1/4 c. flour
2 c. cubed processed American cheese (I literally stacked a bunch of Kraft Singles on top of each other and diced them because it’s what I had; worked perfect)
1 1/2 c. milk (I used skim; you get a lot of creaminess from the cheese)
Salt & Pepper to taste

Optional:

3 c. diced, peeled potatoes
1/4 c. sour cream

1. First, brown the beef in a pot (3 qt). If you are a carnivore, you’re gonna be like, Whoa I need more beef. You don’t. Be patient.

2. Drain that and set it aside. If you’re feeling naughty, keep the drippings in the pan for step 3.

3. In the same pot, saute your onions, carrots, celery and basil in about 1 T. of butter and/or the drippings. Do this for about 10 minutes. The carrots and celery will turn a bright color, and the onions should be clear.

4. Add the broth and beef (and potatoes, if you want potatoes; I didn’t). Bring it to a boil.

5. Reduce the heat, cover the pot and let it simmer for about 10 minutes (if you are cooking with potatoes, simmer until they are tender; should still be about 10-12 minutes)

6. While that’s chilling out, take a small skillet and melt some butter (start with 3 T.) and then add your flour. Cook and stir for 3-5 minutes, or until it’s bubbly. It’ll start to do this foam thing before the big bubbles start, and that’s your cue).

7. Add the flour mixture to the soup and bring it to a boil again. Stir for 2 minutes.

8. Reduce the pot to low heat. Add the cubes of cheese, milk, and some salt and pepper. Cook and stir until the cheese melts.

9. Have a little taste test. Does it need more salt and pepper? Probably. DON’T BE STINGY WITH THE SALT AND PEPPER. Nobody likes people like that.

10. Remove the pot from the heat and, if you’d like to add sour cream, now is the time to do it. I did, but didn’t notice much difference in the taste.

This soup is DELISH and heats up really well. I still have quite a bit left, so I’m thinking about freezing the rest so I don’t waste it 🙂 Try it and let me know what you think!

PSSSSSST! Head over HERE and enter a sweet contest 🙂

Spanx.

Hi folks.

It’s been a while.

Since we’ve talked last I’ve become even more of a domestic diva. Yesterday I made homemade creamy tomato and basil soup. That’s soup with 4 ADJECTIVES. Everyone knows food with lots of adjectives is super fancy and people who make it are divas.

Tonight, I attempted a HuHut recreation. It was not bad. I will continue improving it until it tastes just like what I make at the Mongolian Grill. I will not be defeated.

Shockingly, with all this cooking I’ve been doing, I’ve lost about 3 pounds. I have no idea how this is happening except for the fact that I’m  eating less Pizza Hut since I’m dominating my entire Yum board on Pinterest.

Oh. I guess that’s probably how it’s happening.

In other world domination news, the other day I went to Target and did not buy a single thing because I’m so fulfilled in my life that I don’t need material objects.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Obvs that’s a lie.

TARGET THINGS.

Not pictured: lots of things.

I went shopping again after the Target spree weekend, which to be fair was mostly because of peer pressure during bachlorette party shenanigans (Lori’s getting marrrrrrrrrrried!). I will not be shopping again for a long time. Probably.

On another note, do you ever stand in a department store dressing room, look in the mirror and think, Damn this would look nice with Spanx?

No?

Me either. That would be weird.

How to Pretend You’re Trying to Lose Weight

Due to the fact that I haven’t worked out in 12 years and that lately I’ve been eating doughnuts, cake and pizza whenever they are offered to me, I’ve been avoiding denim like the plague. If stretchy material is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Truth be told, I need to get myself back on track because I bought a wedding dress and supposedly I have to fit into it in about 11 months. It’s not denim, but it’s not stretchy either. Dammit.

I used to feel like I was such a health and fitness guru. Work out every day, eat some quinoa, enjoy Meatless Monday, read a healthy living blog. Boom.

Lately I’ve been more of an alcohol aficionado. A fried food fiend. Junk food junkie.

It’s arguably much more fun. Well, short term. Long term it’s leggings and sweatshirts. Boo.

I feel like I need to get back on track like all the good brides-to-be out there. And forget wanting to look hot on my wedding day – what about just wanting to look hot? Leggings and sweatshirts aren’t hot. (ACTUALLY they TOTALLY are…HA! Get it? Cuz they make you warm…? Yeah.)

Getting healthy is hard, especially when you’re having such a fun time being unhealthy. So I’ve decided to stick to the age-old adage, Fake It Til You Make It. I’m going to pretend I’m trying to lose weight and then hopefully in like a month I’ll actually be doing it. Or it will just magically disappear. That would be cool, too.

How To Pretend You’re Trying To Lose Weight

1. Go to the store and buy healthy things. 

Last night I bought carrots, cucumbers, apples, avocados, lemons and low cal orange juice for my breakfast smooooooothies. I came up with this trick: buy the real carrots, not the baby carrots. You know, REAL carrots, like with the green on the end. You probably forgot what real carrots look like, what with your late-night Krispy Kreme runs, so let me remind you:

 

Remember?

OK, so you buy the REAL carrots, and then you get home, and wash, peel and cut. This is more difficult than sticking a bag of baby carrots in the fridge, right? Right. So now that you did all that hard work, you will remember to eat them and not the Krispy Kremes because of all the labor that went into that bag of carrots in the fridge.

Probably.

2. Get your healthy things ready. 

Do the carrot method mentioned above.

Also, you can do make-ahead smoothies. I have a smoothie for breakfast ever morning, which is arguably the only healthy thing I eat all day (pre-Trying To Get Healthy, of course). Smoothies are easy, but they take a slight amount of prep work, which I can’t afford in the morning because I’m already probably running late. My favorite smoothie is frozen strawberries + ice + 8 oz. OJ + Body by Vi shake mix (<- nutritional supplement stuff; tastes good tho). It never fails that I end up running around the kitchen trying to get everything I need for the smoothie, even though it’s not very much stuff.

Enter: planning ahead. I got some cheapo baggies and stuffed them full of 1 cup of fruit (learned that in a magazine; see #3), in this case strawberries, and 6-8 ice cubes. There were even some strawberries about a day away from rotting in the fridge, so I cut those bad boys ups too. BOOM, pre-portioned smoothie mix, just add OJ. Less thinking in the morning. Don’t mind if I do.

3. Buy a health/fitness magazine.

The cashier will fo sho think you are the next Bob Harper/Jillian Michaels, which is want you want anyway. Also, you will learn fun things, like 1 cup of fruit in smoothies is the perfect amount nutritionally without going overboard in all that fabulous natural sugar found in fruit, so now you can make pre-portioned smoothies and forgo using a measuring cup before the sun is even up. You’re welcome. You will also see pictures of pretty girls working out and this will motivate you.

Probably.

4. Practice self control, but only when you have to. 

At work they make this cheese popcorn, which is basically buttery popcorn coated in neon orange cheese-flavored crack. I like to enjoy a 32 oz. cup of it daily. Today I was being all self-controlled though, and I said, No, no thank you, I am good with my smoothie. Personally I think I deserve a medal, but I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it.

5. Sleep in wonkified positions so you wake up sore. Complain about soreness.

I’ve been telling people about my stiff shoulders and tight hamstrings today, which makes it sound like I was warming up with Michael Phelps before his little soul was crushed in prelims yesterday.

 

[Source]

Poor Mike.

I know I fooled you, but the truth is I wasn’t with Mikey yesterday. Nope. I just slept like a human pretzel.

No one has to know.

I like the feeling of being sore, so I’m hoping after a few days I’ll decide I want to have a workout-induced soreness instead of a pretzel-induced soreness (mmm…pretzels), and then I’ll go for a 6-mile jog or something.

Until then, you can find me in leggings and sweatshirts.

Toodles.

Condiment Catastrophe: a story of egg salad

I was going to make this for lunch today.

I was going to take pictures.

It was going to be a really pretty photo shoot because you know what is prettier than a hard boiled egg’s bright yellow and a perfectly ripe avocado’s green fleshy goodness?

Nothing.

Maybe this:

*Gratuitous photo of my future nieces. Gorge!

Back to my egg salad.

So last time I tried to make egg salad at Jeff’s house (sometimes I go there for lunch cuz it’s .2 seconds away from work and my parents’ house is wayyy too far away for an hour lunch break [not really, but his house is much closer]) I did EVERYTHING my mom/The Pioneer Woman/Google told me to do and my eggs were not cooked. It was heartbreaking. Do you have any idea how it feels to crave egg salad like crack and get everything all set up and put together and spend 20 minutes boiling two damn eggs and neither of them cook all the way through!? It’s enough to make you sick.

Literally. That’s how you get salmonella.

I didn’t have the salmonella problem this time, thank GOODNESS. I was getting ready to mix everything together and I took the mayo out of the fridge. Back story: unless it’s on a BLT or LIGHT in a salad (pasta, potato, egg) I do not go near mayo. Ewyuckno.

It jiggles.

It freaks me out.

No.

So of course I had not realized that the mayo in the fridge had expired IN DECEMBER and was CURDLING and I bet you anything Jeff had been eating it up until we went on vacation last week. Climb aboard the vomit train…

I was able to find some Miracle Whip that only just expired last week (!!!!) so I squeezed in the teeniest amount just to make the egg stick together, basically, because if I hate anything more than mayo it’s Miracle Whip.

I threw in some mustard and worcestershire sauce (<- KEY!) and tasted my creation and it was surprisingly delicious despite the condiment catastrophe.

But then I ate a spoonful with avocado (my one true love) and I decided that on their own each are glorious, but together notsomuch. I think it was a consistency problem. Too much mush in one place. That being said, maybe when I actually have mayo and not that other crap I will try Ree’s recipe. Who knows.

After all this, my camera died anyway so it didn’t even matter. It’s like I never ate at all. Because after all, if there is no Instagram photo of it, did it really happen??? I ask you.

So now I’ve got a sliced up avocado in the fridge marinating in lime so it won’t go all nast and brown on me, and I’m trying to figure out a way to use it ASAP. (Guacamole is the obvious standby.)

I’ve also got a husband-to-be with a totally clean fridge because the mayo situation freaked me out so I started purging, which really wasn’t a bad idea anyway cuz yesterday Jeff ate a 13-day-old enchilada.